


Maybe Again

by bioticfox (ayambik)



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Destroy Ending, Joker x EDI, M/M, War Aftermath, post-ME3
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-22
Updated: 2016-06-22
Packaged: 2018-07-16 15:32:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7273726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ayambik/pseuds/bioticfox
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A battle in space causes a ridiculous amount of dust and debris. Some of this will be affected by the gravitational pull of the nearest planet, in this particular case Earth, to either crash down to the surface like an artificial meteor or burn up harmlessly in the atmosphere. Other times it just stays in orbit, causing disruption to satellites, incoming signals, ships, and of course sunlight. That's what the alliance was dealing with, on top of the politics and the fallout after the crucible destroyed the cornerstones of modern society.</p><p>'A mess is what it is,’ Kaidan thought.</p><p> ---</p><p>The story of Kaidan’s life in the immediate aftermath of the war that changed so much.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Maybe Again

**Author's Note:**

> Here's my contribution to the MEBB. I hope you guys like it. It's my first ever 'proper' fic (i.e not a mini-fic) and it took such a long time. Also it hasn't been beta'd, so I'd appreciate if you pointed out any errors and had any tips for improving my writing.
> 
> Art by the lovely [Neolith.](http://www.neolithicprophet.tumblr.com)

A battle in space causes a ridiculous amount of dust and debris. Some of this will be affected by the gravitational pull of the nearest planet, in this particular case Earth, to either crash down to the surface like an artificial meteor or burn up harmlessly in the atmosphere. Other times it just stays in orbit, causing disruption to satellites, incoming signals, ships, and of course sunlight. That's what the Alliance was dealing with, on top of the politics and the fallout after the crucible destroyed the cornerstones of modern society.

'A mess is what it is,’ Kaidan thought.

The Normandy had just arrived back into Alliance space, limping back home after they finally, finally managed to fix her. A bit worse for wear with only Tali's ingenuity and a bit of make do and mend holding her together, it took longer than normal to get back to ground zero. Too long.

But right now they were in crawling distance of Earth.

"Major, we are transmitting on all frequencies. Awaiting response. Guess it's not just us who are a bit sluggish, huh?" Traynor’s voice sliced through Kaidan's thoughts.

He surveyed the room from his viewpoint above the galaxy map. Alliance soldiers were all trained to stand at attention, drilled into them from the moment they signed up, but Kaidan couldn't help shifting his weight from one foot to the other.

'Wrong.' He thought. 'It's all wrong. It shouldn't be me up here.'

It had been difficult, taking over Shepard's duties. As ranking Alliance officer, XO of the ship and the second human spectre, it was natural that they looked to him as commander. Well, temporary commander, anyway. Kaidan was clinging onto hope that Shepard could still be alive. During the crash landing and subsequent stranding it was easier to imagine that John was OK. Shepard was on a mission, that's why he was gone, nothing out of the ordinary. As the days dragged on, and the reality of the situation sunk in, Kaidan found it harder to ignore the fact that this was not normal procedure. He frequently found himself looking over his shoulder and seeing empty space where John should be, getting less and less surprised each time it happened, but the hurt he felt remained constant. Shepard was away from the ship, sure, but with the citadel blast it seemed to be unlikely that he'd be re-joining the crew. Few thought he was alive anymore. Kaidan had refused to put Shepard's name on the memorial wall until he had proof, but in his heart of hearts he didn't truly believe Shepard could be alive, not really. However, he felt he owed it to Shepard to at least wait until he had a body, or more likely, a pair of dog tags to bury, before he gave up.

Even knowing how unlikely it was for Shepard to have survived, Kaidan still felt an uncomfortable sensation in his stomach when crew accidentally referred to him as commander, like a bag of worms, writhing in his gut. Each time it happened, he felt sick as his emotions flared, but he stamped them down and down, until he was able to concentrate on the job again. There was more at stake than the man he loved. The man he loved was everything to him, but there was always more at stake than everything to Kaidan. There was more at stake than John and Kaidan both. They were soldiers, they both knew that. The crew had loved ones too, after all, each and every one of them had families. Husbands, partners, children, mothers and brothers. All waiting either on Earth or off world. Or missing. Or dead. There was plenty of that too. But, the point was, that Kaidan wasn't the only one grieving. He had to do right by the crew, by Shepard and everyone left on Earth. Not everyone knew for sure where their loved ones were, or if they were still out there and still breathing, and it was only now they were back in Alliance space that they could begin to find out.

Broadcasting a signal. Hoping for a reply. Orders, permission to dock, confirmation of the body count. After days stranded on an uninhabited planet, receiving any signal would be good news. Until they actually heard the news, that is. No news was good news, or so the saying goes, and there really couldn’t be very much good news, so maybe the silence was better. However, there was still some optimism on board. Emphasis on some. However, they'd all been there, all seen the debris, the destruction, the death. How much of the optimism was real and how much was faked, Kaidan didn’t know. If forced cheerfulness and the illusion of morale got the crew through the days, one at a time, then Kaidan could let them keep their coping mechanism. He couldn't blame them, really. They all needed something to cling to, and if that was the hope that there was still somebody waiting for them, so be it. As his hope for Shepard waned, Kaidan clung to his Alliance principles and his sense of duty with everything left, gripping so strongly he felt like a shipwrecked man on a life raft. Well, technically they had been shipwrecked. Spacewrecked.

He just had to get everybody home. Everybody who was left, anyway. Several hadn’t made it. There was no EDI. Joker was a defeated man, looking exactly like Kaidan felt. A part of each of them was lost when the citadel blew, never to be seen again. Emotions were so repressed they were both nauseous with it. Insides churned up and reordered and slightly out of place. Kaidan dare not hope after his mother, for fear the disappointment would snap him in two, if the worst had happened. Best not to think about it.

"Major!" exclaimed Traynor, breaking through Kaidan's increasingly morose internal monologue, "we are receiving Alliance communications!" Traynor could hardly keep the smile out of her voice. "I've routed the message to Shep- well, uh, the private terminal, sir". That did it. No one had managed to keep smiling through a slipped mention for Shepard yet.

Nodding, he stepped down to check the transmission. He was jittery with the pressure. This one message had the potential to destroy everything.

"Long range intergalactic communications are down. Short range transmissions are limited. Dock in London. Report to Admiral Hackett for further updates. Welcome back Normandy"

That was it. Not much of an update. But, limited communications could mean anything and everything. They'd know more when they got there. He was frowning at the terminal. All this tensing was not good for his head.

Sighing he looked up and around the room.

"We are to dock in London. We'll get a full update then". He hoped.

A murmur went through the CIC, before quickly dying down as crewmates averted their eye back to their own terminals. You didn't come this far on the Normandy if you were prone to long periods of distraction, after all. He could tell everyone was excited, though, at the prospect of nearing home. Or, any civilisation, really, they were just so desperate for any news.

"Keep me updated, Traynor, if you hear anything else, let me know. Although I think that's unlikely," he said, walking around the galaxy map and starting past the crew, heading to the front of the ship.

He had been hoping for a more thorough update, they all had. He wasn't the only one wanting to hear humanity’s fate, they'd all put their lives on the line. This period of near inaction was causing the crew to be anxious, they just weren’t used to it.

He walked the long walkway up through the Normandy, up to the cockpit, to find Joker.

He looked about as good as Kaidan felt, to be honest. Dark, pronounced circles under Joker's eyes announced to the world the state of his sleeping schedule, the pilot's area strewn with empty cans of caffeine containing beverages, paper coffee cups that still smelt strongly of days old coffee they kept in the mess and many, many wrappers from various junk food. If Kaidan had been sticking to regular meals himself, he doubted he would have seen Joker at meal times. The only thing still pristine was the co-pilot's chair to Joker's right. Edi's chair. Perfect and immaculate, ready and waiting for her to return to work. In reality Kaidan knew the mech was unmoving, lying in the AI core, covered with a sheet. A body with no soul.

He startled when Joker whistled, a long, low noise, breaking through the silence.

"Well, we're home. It looks like a dump," said Joker, his usual sarcasm and cheer just not having the same energetic bite as normal. And to be honest, Kaidan didn't want it to anyway, not at a time like this.

"How long until we reach London, Jeff?"

"Hmm, probably a few hours. Longer then I'd hoped, but all the..." he waved at the debris out the window "...is sort of making steering a little bit harder than normal."

"Take your time Jeff. For once, we're not actually in a hurry."

"Yeah. Feels weird, doesn't it?"

"That's one way of putting it," huffed Kaidan, dryly amused.

Pieces of the battle lay strewn across their path. Broken ships and broken men as far as the eye could see.

He surveyed the chaos outside the Normandy. What appeared to be half a Reaper hull was steadily floating by on the right. Joker was managing to navigate safely through despite the lack of sleep, although, the fact they were at severely reduced speeds probably helped him keep up.

Kaidan had to avoid looking to his left, as he caught the citadel’s remains out of the corner of one eye, where it slowly orbited the Earth. Not much was left, but it still hurt to know. John's body could be there somewhere. Or on Earth. He didn't know. He'd have to report to Hackett, and find out if they'd already done sweeps, looking for anyone who might have survived. It didn’t seem like anyone could’ve made it though, looking at the wreck, with its breeched atmosphere, fragmented sectors and general loss of integrity. Countless civilians all spaced without a suit. Not to mention the explosion. Yeah, recovering bodies was more likely. But it could wait. There were more urgent things, and in the cold of space, it wasn't like they'd be decomposing any time soon. The dead could wait when the living still needed help.

\----

It was precisely 3 hours and 42 minutes later when the Normandy safely docked in one of London's few remaining ship ports. Few remaining left intact anyway. There was plenty of space to land now that half the buildings were obliterated.

Kaidan gave the crew the day as leave, with order's to stay in the area in case departure was imminent. Although he figured the Normandy would need to spend a few days in repair at least. Still, they had protocols and until Hackett told him otherwise, the crew were still on duty.

With a private military vehicle to take him to the Westminster office, where he was assured Hackett was waiting, Kaidan and Garrus left the ship in Joker's mostly capable hands. He got a good look at London as the car travelled through the streets. He hadn't seen much of it before Earth was invaded, hadn't had the time, but to see the ruins of the city just served as a reminder of how much everyone had lost, and his chest twisted as he thought of his family, and of Shepard. Pushing it down, he stepped out of the car at the other end, a big grey building, still mostly standing apart from a few holes in the roof, but rubble was piled outside in the streets as people hurried on by, all hands on deck to help rebuild. The city and their lives.

"Major Alenko! Hell it's good to see you," said Hackett as soon as Kaidan entered his makeshift office, serving as part of the Alliance HQ.

"Sir! It's good to be back. Was touch and go for a minute."

"Down to business then. Give me a status report on the Normandy. Last we heard of you, you'd gone through the relay."

"We attempted to escape the blast. We weren't sure of its effects. Crew is mostly intact. A few injuries, broken bones, nothing currently life threatening. A few casualties. EDI's gone, amongst others"

"All synthetics are gone, Alenko. Nothing you could do about that."

"Yes, sir. The Normandy itself is in need of some repair, we've done what we can, but she'll need looking at. The engineering crew were speaking to a few of the onsite technicians when we left. General consensus is that she's got a few parts that are less than optimal but it shouldn't take more than a few days to fix, if we prioritise her over the other repair jobs."

"I’ll give them the go ahead. We need all ships flying ASAP, especially this one. "

"Yes, sir.”

"Forgive me Admiral," Garrus starts, “we’ve been off the grid since we crash landed, I don't know much about the state of things, I would assume the mass relays and communications take priority? What else is going on that that I don't know about?"

Hackett regarded the alien before him, but the Alliance didn't come this far without cooperation and he could bet this particular Turian would be going far up in the Turian hierarchy in the decades to come after his contribution on the Normandy.

"Ships are our short term priority. We need ships up and running for supply runs, amongst other things. With import and export taking twice as long as usual, some outposts and civilian habitats will need food and they'll need it soon. The logistics are a nightmare, not to mention we still have stranded soldiers and refugee civilians needing to be transported.

"Communications are our top priority, long term. Even longer term are the relays, and getting them functioning is the number one goal. But, we didn't build them ourselves and getting them running again will be tough. On the bright side, we have the galaxy's best and brightest right here on Earth, as the crucible scientists were stranded when the relays were taken offline. As soon as we can get Earth's relay up and running we can take our fastest ship to the next nearest relay, and the next and so on, spreading functionality outwards until the network is connected again. We can only assume the teams on all the other home worlds are doing the same and we hope that they follow an outward spread too. If we can get comms going then we can attempt to check on their progress and hopefully get the relays up and running sooner."

It made sense Kaidan thought. With long distance comms up and running each race could collaborate on handling the post war situation.

"We've split the spare scientists into two teams, one for the communications and one for the relays. Hopefully we can get comms working sooner rather than later and then we can coordinate supplies more efficiently, get in touch with lost ships, find any refugees and survivors still stranded, et cetera.

 

"Don’t even get me started on the politics. It's not so much an issue now, when everyone is desperate enough to still be cooperating, but in a few months’ time who knows. People will get sick of being on Earth, under human and Alliance authority, they'll understandably want to go home to their own worlds and families. The peace can't last. For now though, they understand that there isn't a lot we can do. The ships that are capable are travelling to the nearest colonies and outposts, taking supplies and refugees, soldiers, and any other personnel that needs to be somewhere else. But we are limited to nearby outposts without the relays. We can attempt to assess the situation and get them connected to our temporary short range communication system, but there is a bit of a time delay until we get the main systems back online.

"We'll give you three days leave before you’re back on duty. There are limited communications, so if you can, contact your families and let them know that you're safe, but be aware that off world communications are still not up and running. Be assured there are people working on it. Dismissed"

Kaidan sighed. They finally get back home and the place is a mess. Although, really, the news is about what Kaidan expected.

He'd had long nights alone in Shepard's cabin to contemplate all the horrific things that could still be happening on Earth as they trundled through the galaxy, at what felt like a snail's pace. Still they hadn't been taking the long way back home by choice and with the relays out and hardly any technology functioning, the journey had been as short as they could manage. They couldn't even fly the Normandy at top speed for fear she'd shake apart around them, and with no way to send for help, going faster than a crawl was just too dangerous. Even so, they were lucky; they hadn't ended up too far away. It could have been worse.

He'd have to alert the crew to the situation on Earth, of course. He sighed again. That was not a job he wanted. Definitely not. Public speaking wasn't his thing, it was Shepard's.

Three days to rest, to try to get in touch with any family they could, but with comms still down to some areas of Earth and the majority of the colonies, many people won't be able to reach their loved ones even if they are still alive.

Three days to try and contact his Mother, find out any news of his father and then back to work. Part of him wanted to pack up and go home, find his Mother and nothing else, but equally what would he do when he got there? Not an awful lot, he figured. He'd be too agitated if he didn't keep himself busy. If he stopped to let everything catch up with him, he’s pretty sure he'd wreck himself within a month. He had to stay, had to help, had to carry on. For John, for his Mother, for himself. And he would.

"In the meantime," said Hackett, "Major Alenko, you are acting in charge of the Normandy."

Kaidan couldn’t keep he grimace off his face.

"You got a problem with that, Major?”

“Well, sir, I had hoped, I mean- I knew it was a long shot, but… Did you find him…? Commander Shepard?”

Kaidan received a long hard look from Hackett, an infuriating silence as Kaidan waited for Hackett to answer.

“We did send teams up. We had team scouting through all the debris that crash landed, and we sent ships up to the citadel, oe what’s left of the citadel that is, searching for survivors. Many were killed when the explosion hit. Nasty way to go. Most of those that survived the blast were essentially spaced. The atmosphere breeched when the crucible fired. Not to mention that the Reapers had killed thousands before we even knew the citadel was being moved. Worse way to go. Buildings crumbled with the force, debris everywhere, fire, no atmosphere.

“We found a handful of survivors, the lucky bastards, who had been in exactly the right place, either hidden in strong structures that had their own contained atmospheres, or were wearing suits. Several found still breathing died before we could get them to the hospital. Most of the others are in comas, with brain damage, spinal injuries, broken bones, and damaged organs. We expect a few more won’t make it. In fact we don’t really expect many of the survivors to walk or talk again.”

“Admiral, if Shepard’s dead…just tell me.”

“I’m trying to warn you, Major. To prepare you. We found him. God damnit, if there were survivors of course he was going to be one of them. He’s in the infirmary. Still breathing, the son of a bitch. The doctors can fill you in more, but just because he’s breathing doesn’t mean he’s ever going to wake up.”

Kaidan’s world stopped spinning for just a moment and anything but that one sentence was just white noise. He was still breathing.

“Permission to see him, sir.”

“Of course, Alenko. I’ll take you there. Special clearance. This is not public knowledge, though. We don’t want it getting out he survived just to have him die tomorrow. Right now he’s a hero, someone who sacrificed himself for the greater good. We’d rather people keep thinking that if he isn’t going to make it.”

"I understand, sir."

Kaidan felt unsteady on his legs as Hackett talked to them about arranging transport for the journey. He vaguely knew that he responded as best he could in the car ride over to the hospital, but couldn’t guarantee he said anything appropriate. Shepard was alive. Garrus was a comforting presence at his side, not something you'd normally say about a Turian, but the journey to the hospital had Kaidan’s heart pumping blood, rushing it around the body as if ready to go into battle, and his instinct drilled into him that his fellow squad member had his back.

He'd spent the entire time on the Normandy, after they'd crash landed, convincing himself that he shouldn't get his hopes up. That Shepard was more than likely dead and it was extremely unlikely that he'd be able to pull of a second miraculous resurrection. Almost wouldn't, couldn’t, let himself truly believe. Not until he could actually see him.

And all of a sudden, there they were. Kaidan wouldn’t have been able to recall most of the journey, couldn’t think past the buzzing in his ears. It happened all too slow but in the blink of eye, from the meeting with Hackett to standing right there at Shepard’s bedside, watching the rise and fall of John's chest as the ventilator expanded his lungs over and over. Shepard was lying alone in a non-descript private room in the old UCLH building. Ward two, room 7, according to the signs. Huh. Would you look at that. Shepard.

The doctor in charge meets them in Shepard’s room.

“He has broken bones, damaged cybernetics, and won’t wake up, but his brain scans seem remarkably intact,” the doctor began, “He’s covered in some severe burns caused by overheating cybernetics, which actually might have saved his life, in the end. The heat from the failing tech caused his suit to fuse together in some places, sealing breeches caused by the blast. Otherwise he wouldn’t have survived the loss of atmosphere. He’s lucky to be alive at all.” 

“If his cybernetics are damaged we need Miranda,” said Garrus, looking towards Hackett as Kaidan continued to stare in disbelief at the doctor. 

“She’s already here. Last I heard she was trying to trace some prototype cybernetics that Shepard could make use of, but they might be anywhere in the galaxy. Until then we will repair what damage we can, but replacements will need to be acquired or built from scratch before he can recover at all, he’s too dependent on them for survival.”

Kaidan understood and felt better with Miranda within range. Strange how he trusted this ex-Cerberus officer with Shepard’s life. Shepard trusted her, that was good enough to leave Shepard in her hands. He wouldn’t trust her with any Alliance intelligence, but he’d trust her with Shepard’s survival. Interesting.

Turning his attention back to Shepard in the isolated room, Kaidan took in the machines everywhere supporting Shepard’s systems and the injuries from burns underneath the bandages covering the majority of Shepard’s skin. He'd have to be rebuilt, again. At least this time it wasn’t from scratch. Was that better or worse? Who knew?

“The Normandy will be up and running again in a few days,” said Hackett, “We’ll be putting you to work as soon as we can, delivering supplies, transporting goods and soldiers. We don't anticipate needing a warship right now, but you’ll do good, necessary work. I'll be in touch when the Normandy is complete.”

Hackett departed with the doctor, leaving Kaidan and Garrus alone with their commander.

"I'm not sure I feel right gallivanting across the galaxy, with Shepard unconscious and alone," said Kaidan, unsure of his place.

"It's hardly the galaxy, Kaidan, we can barely make it to the other side of the system right now. Miranda will take good care of him, he's won’t be alone. We’ll be more useful on the ship until he wakes up."

"If he wakes up, you mean. I just feel like I should be here, with Shepard. But on the other hand if he wakes up and finds out I've been sitting by his bedside being idle, watching the galaxy attempt to repair itself around me, well... I don't think he'd like that very much,” he paused, “I don't think I'd like that very much, either. I can't just sit here, as much as I would like to, not until after all this is over."

"Do you think it will really ever be over?” asked Garrus, in a slightly cynical tone of voice, “I thought 'after' would be when we defeated the Reapers, but here we are, still waiting for it to be over."

"Less fighting for our lives though,” Kaidan mused, “If we measure by the scale of how often we get shot at, I'd say this is a definite improvement."

"Can always count on you to look at the bright side, Alenko. Though I can think of a couple of Krogans who wouldn't necessarily agree with you."

"I think even the Krogans would agree that not having Reapers shoot at you is a good thing. Mostly.”

\---

The next day, he dodged and weaved through the crowded streets of London. Although, to be fair, this was the only street in London that still had the necessary foot traffic to be called 'busy'. Oxford Street, once a shopping hub, had had the remains of several department stores turned into communication centres for the general public. Most civilians still alive had fled to the countryside or off world, but plenty of military personnel were now stranded on Earth until things were up and running again, and with London being the centre of military activity, many soldiers had stuck around to make themselves useful. Even so, most streets were vacant. There just wasn't enough people left to fill a city of this size, not any more.

But, here Kaidan was, having his personal space invaded in the relative hustle and bustle, as people came to attempt to contact their loved ones. Communications were prioritised for the military and governments, with only one or two hours on the patchy systems being allocated for public use, creating a backlog of people trying to use the select few frequencies to send messages.

New systems were being introduced. Or old systems, Kaidan supposed. Any technology that wasn't deemed necessary was very, very low on the list of things to fix. People had resorted to writing letters the old fashioned way, to be sent to the nearest government outpost, who would keep the letter until your loved one collected it. Seemed like the old post system would be having a revival.

After the third and final attempt at contacting his Mother on his family home's private number with no luck, Kaidan found himself in one of the makeshift attempting to draft a letter to his parents. It was short and sweet, a simple declaration of his survival and general good health, with well wishes for theirs and a request to contact him if possible. Signed with love, Kaidan. Not much point in being sentimental when he didn't even know if they were alive to read it. He'd had to deal with too many emotions these past few days and he was mentally exhausted, even if his body was better rested than he'd managed since the last shore leave, massive alcohol consumption notwithstanding.

He addressed the envelope to his mother, care of Vancouver authorities, before depositing it in the box bound for Canada, along with a pile of other paper letters exactly the same style as his. Letters filled with love, worry and hope. He wondered how long it would be before that hope turned to despair for some. It would be a while before people stopped writing letters though. Some would never know the fate of their family, if they made it through the war, with no body and no communication, it would be tough, Kaidan knew. He hoped he wouldn't be one of them.

He'd spent the past few days alternating between attempting to contact his family and staying by Shepard’s bedside. He wandered back through the streets, crowd gradually dispersing as he walked north towards the hospital. With the Normandy repaired and shipping out tomorrow he had to say goodbye, just in case Shepard didn't hold on until they got back.

"Ah, Major. I was hoping to catch you before you left."

Miranda greeted him as he entered Shepard's room. She looked a lot better than the last time he saw her, but then he supposed he was a bit worse for wear back then as well. He took in the clipboard and pen she was using to jot down notes, looking back and forth between the various machines as she did so, as they were apparently beeping at meaningful intervals. He scrubbed his hand over his face, instantly wearying.

"Tell me you have good news, not bad news." he said.

"Hm. Mostly good news, I believe," she replied, sparing a glance in his direction.

"Well after the last few months, I can probably handle 'mostly'."

That got a smile from her as she tapped the pen a few times before turning to face him.

"The damage to his body is mainly due to malfunctioning cybernetics, which is to be expected, what with the crucible affecting mostl technology. His suit kept the actual physical damage from the blast mostly contained. He has a few broken bones, which will heal, and the tissues around the cybernetics are damaged, but again, he will heal.2

"So what's the mostly?"

"I've mostly repaired the essential life support cybernetics as much as I can, based on the original schematics and the things I've had to hand. There are a few more...technical pieces that would do more harm than good if I tried to fix with sub-standard materials, but there's little chance of him waking up until these parts are fixed, and until he wakes up I can't fix any further problems he may have. However, the bright side is that Cerberus was nothing if not prepared."

Kaidan raised his eyebrows at this. That was hardly a good thing when on the battlefield against the agency's operatives.

"Based on the communications I intercepted before the coming of the most recent dark age," she said dryly, "I believe I know the location of where spare parts and prototypes of various implants are most likely kept. Even better news it's in this system. So if you'd be so kind as to take the Normandy on a little detour on your upcoming supply run, it would be very helpful."

"Send- no, write down the coordinates for me. I'll stop there on our way. Is there likely to be any resistance?" said Kaidan. He agreed with no hesitation. If this was what Shepard needed, this is what he would do.

"Possibly. Possibly not. With the communications down it’s very hard for me to confirm one way or another. There might still be some Cerberus agents there, awaiting orders from the Illusive Man that aren't going to come. Watch your back," she said, turning back to her notes.

"Will do."

He looked at Shepard one last time before heading out.

\-----

The next morning Kaidan arrived back at the Normandy to see the sunrise reflected back at him from her hull, bright and early. Her alien crew had stayed on as crew members. With no way home, remaining on the Normandy was a way to be useful. The Alliance didn't mind, getting the galaxy back up and running would be a combination effort in the end, that’s for sure.

Hackett had sent Kaidan the mission brief via 'courier', otherwise known as one of the untrained soldiers that joined up late in the war that just couldn't be sent to basic training right now, with ships out of action and colonies struggling. They were thrown in the deep end and would either sink or swim. Or maybe just float along delivering mail, Kaidan wasn't sure.

The mission schedule included the delivery and collection of supplies in various colonies and outposts in the Sol system. With the cybernetics supposedly on the southernmost Venusian aerostat and several supplies on route to an eastern outpost on the same planet, Joker dropped Kaidan off in the south to collect the cybernetics for Miranda, with the Normandy continuing on the delivery route to the aerostat in the east.

Docking to the aerostat dome, Kaidan had Garrus, Liara and Tali by his side. They were greeted by military personnel, and a Captain Yao was in charge.

"Major," he saluted, "Welcome to our little bubble of habitat. I'm Captain Sam Yao, I'm in charge here for now, helping with coordinating military and government procedures for this aerostat."

"Just you?" asked Kaidan, surprised at the seemingly small operation.

"My unit is scattered across the planet in various bubbles. Me and two others are here, with each large aerostat getting a team of three, and one or two in the smaller ones. We attempt to coordinate supplies to the best of our ability with the delayed communications," he faltered, "umm, not meaning to be disrespectful, but we expecting the supply drop at the East aerostat- not that we won't take it, mind, just we don't have the necessary storage space prepared."

"The Normandy is on route to supply the East as we speak, we are actually here to pick something up. Maybe you can help us with that? We are heading to this location, we believe there may be something of importance waiting for us there," said Kaidan, as he handed over the coordinates Miranda had given them, "Can you point us in the right direction?"

"Well I can do one better than that, I can take you there, that's where my team has set up base. There's not much to find though, it was a mostly empty lab when we arrived, but we set up there because it's a good defensible location. You know, just in case."

Kaidan did know, unfortunately, that just in case was better planned for than not.

"Just how 'mostly empty' are we talking?" asked Garrus.

"Well it's totally cleaned out now, we moved everything unnecessary to a storage locker, to make room, you know, but it was abandoned when we moved in and there wasn't much left to begin with," said Yao.

"Ok then, Garrus and Tali, go check out the locker. Liara, with me to check out the lab with the Captain."

"Right away," said Tali, "umm...which way do we go?"

"Oh? The locker? Not far. Follow this route along, take a left and two rights. Big Blue building. Not exactly locked though..." said Yao, gesturing along the track, whilst sheepishly scrubbing his other hand through his dark hair.  
"Riiiight. Let's go," said Garrus, heading off in the direction Yao gave them, Quarian close behind.

"Alright, this way to the base, please, if you would. Thank you."

\---

As Kaidan and Liara arrive at the lab, it's easy to see why the military team had chosen it as a defensible location. The building's security alone was extremely above average.

"We have no idea who was working here and why they'd have such a fancy lab," Sam chatted "Don't suppose you're allowed to tell us Major, even if you know? "

Kaidan shook his head slightly as he followed Yao into the building. All he knew that it was likely to be Cerberus, and he didn't want anyone to know that...yet. Just. In. Case.

"Oh hey, Yolanda. You heading out on patrol?" Sam said as they practically bumped into a soldier on her way out.

"I'm about to go head out for a walk and see if anything needs fixing after this morning's lightning storm, if that's what you mean?"

"Yeah it was a bad one huh? Should be fine though, they didn't build these bubbles out of cardboard."

"Better safe than sorry. If there's a damaged panel anywhere we could be in trouble, especially if we aren't going to be getting frequent supply drops right now," she replied.

"OK. Can you head down towards the storage locker on your route? We’ve got a couple more visitors there, just check in on them and make sure they don't need a hand with anything on your way by."

"Sure thing, Chief," she said as she headed out the way they'd just come.

"Well, that was Yolanda. Peterson?" Sam raised his voice as he enquired.

"Right here, Cap," a male voice sounded from another room, shortly followed by the body it belonged to, "Yolanda head out on Patrol?"

"Yeah," Yao turned to Kaidan "Patrol is a very loose term here. We just try to make sure there's nothing urgent happening and that all the personnel on the outpost are taken care of the best we can. This is a research outpost, so its mainly scientists and their families here. But there's not an awful lot of room in an aerostat, so everyone knows each other. Small town kinda vibe, you know?"

"Only the humans would think that living in a giant bubble floating over a hostile planet would be a good idea," Garrus' voice crackled over the rudimentary comm link Tali had got up and running.

"Well, it seems to work," she chipped in.

"We just got to the locker Alenko, we'll keep you posted if we find anything of interest."

"Noted. Thanks Garrus."

"Anything that I can help with?" asked Peterson.

"Major Alenko and his team are here to search the premises for something that might've been left behind when it was abandoned. You see anything?"

"No sir, we sent everything to the locker..."

"Like I said," nodded Yao, "I don't think you'll find anything here Major, but feel free to look around. We have most of the military equipment in this room, some storage for the outpost in the alcove to your left and some spare parts on your right. Everything else is pretty much empty though. Give me a shout if you need a hand, I'll just be filling in the paperwork for my Lieutenant York. Not that he'll see it anytime soon, he's on the East aerostat, expecting the supply drop."

The lab contained pretty much what Sam said, military equipment and outpost goods, but there is still a fair amount to check through. Opening all the crates and boxes takes time, military equipment or not, Kaidan wouldn't leave before every inch had been searched thoroughly. Shepard's life was dependent on the cybernetics they were looking for. After going through the third box of out of date tinned food items, Kaidan sees a flash of white peeking out from behind a door, and when he moves over to inspect it, he finds an old lab coat hanging on slightly rusted hook, adorned with an ID card for the head scientist, a Dr. Finch.

"Liara, have you ever heard of this guy?" Kaidan quietly asked her.

Liara nods slightly, a determined look on her face.

“I have, and if he was here, it means we are in the right place."

"Can we talk with anyone who was around when the lab was operational?" asked Kaidan, raising his voice to be heard by the two soldiers in the main room

"I was here," said Peterson, "We were all actually posted on a different aerostat, but we made frequent trips around the planet. I came here most often to keep an eye on things. Nothing exciting, just making sure the researchers were ok."

"What were they researching? " asked Liara, the Asari pulling off 'innocent' incredibly well, despite Kaidan more than knowing better.

"Not a clue. My job was to protect the people, not understand the science," replied Peterson, curtly.

"Did you ever meet this Dr Finch?" she asked.

"Sure," Peterson agreed easily enough, "he had a small team with him, very secretive though. Wasn’t even allowed in their lab room."

"Oh yeah, I remember this guy" said Captain Yao, cutting in and causing a startled look to appear on Peterson face, "I didn't come here often, but I remember he was a shifty one. Always scurried back to his quarters right after closing time. Didn't fit in with the small town community."

Garrus' voice crackled in through the comm link again, and Kaidan winced at the sudden static in his ear. He'd end up with a headache before they got back to the ship, if this feedback continued.

"We've got nothing over here Alenko. Just some equipment, nothing unusual for the kind of lab we were expecting."

"It was obviously a fairly high tech lab from this stuff though," said Tali.

"OK. We've got the name of the lead scientist, a Dr. Finch. Can you guys head over to his quarters? See if he has anything stashed there."

"Yolanda, you get that?" said Yao, into their direct link.

"On it, chief. I'm right around from the locker, I can take you to the right place."

\----

"We need to find this, guys."

Kaidan sighs after another hour of searching with nothing to show for it.

"We get that it's important Kaidan. But I don’t understand why someone else couldn't have come on the giant treasure hunt. I've got a million more useful things I could be doing back on Earth..." said Tali, purposefully fishing for information. Kaidan hadn't yet told Liara and Tali that the parts they were looking for for Shepard, just that they were important to the Alliance, but Tali had obviously figured out something more was going on. If Tali had, so had Liara, he was sure.

"I didn't say anything Alenko. But you're not exactly being subtle about how important these spare parts are. And this lab equipment is a little too high tech for any ordinary spare parts," said Garrus.

"I know. But... not now. I'll debrief you both later."

"Both?" Liara asks as she cocks her head to one side.

Kaidan blinks for a minute and sighs.

"I don't even want to know how you know"

"Knows what!?" Tali swears, "You'd better tell me Kaidan or so help me...keelah se'lai!"

"What?! What have you got!?"

"I've been attempting to repair some data pads we found in Dr. Finch's apartment and I just got in. These are...schematics...for some very familiar looking human cybernetic implants....Kaidan...is it?"

"Later. Tali. Later."

There was a brief pause through the comm links as both Kaidan and Tali composed themselves, before Tali continued explaining her findings.

“There’s also some information on the lab. Apparently in Dr. Finch's office, there's a hidden compartment in the wall. Or rather, the wall is false," she says.

"That's this way," said Peterson, leading them to the upper floor where Finch's office was situated, with Yao close behind. Kaidan could see a four walled office, only the North of which was the only one without a door or a window.

"It just looks like a wall to me," Peterson scoffed. "I doubt highly there's going to be -..."

Moving forward, Liara and Kaidan's biotics flared in tandem as they used their abilities to move the wall, sliding it to the side, to reveal a second wall, with a safe attached.

"I just need a little time to unlock the safe," said Liara, extremely satisfied at their finding.

And then all of a sudden Peterson's gun was pointed at Kaidan's chest.

"Woah, woah, woah, Peterson, it's just biotics, they aren't attacking us! Don't be a dick!" exclaimed Yao, surging into life, hands up, trying to placate his squad mate.

"Shut up Yao, I didn't spend years protecting Cerberus' lab to let the Alliance get their hands on the research now!"  
"Alenko, what's happening," Tali shouted through the distorted comms, "we're on our way back! Talk to us!"

"Cerberus. What else?" he said through a clenched jaw, eyes hard and fixed on the traitor.

"Step away from the safe and no one has to get hurt," commands Peterson, eye not moving away from Liara.

Their options were limited. Both Kaidan and Liara were still recharging. Moving a wall wasn't an easy task, after all, and having had their backs to Peterson, neither had been able to draw their own weapons.

"Come on Peterson, there's no need for this," said Kaidan.

Still, thy were highly trained biotics, who just needed a little more time to regain their energies. Kaidan just had to keep him talking.

“Cerberus has fallen. The Illusive Man is dead. Give it up, Peterson," he said

"You think Cerberus is gone because the llusive Man is gone? Get a grip. We are prepared for all circumstances. We have to be, to protect humanity."

And just as Peterson goes to pull the trigger, a loud bang sounds from the side. Kaidan and Liara both duck and roll to the side of the room, to see Peterson falling to the ground with a scream, with the Captain standing above him, shaken at shooting his own squad. He'd managed to use Kaidan's distraction to draw his service pistol, and shoot Peterson in the shoulder.

Kaidan's shields are quick to come up, as Liara biotically moves Peterson's weapon to the other side of the room, and Yao moves forward to fully disarm and incapacitate the Cerberus operative.

"I'm placing you under arrest Peterson," he said, scowling, "Yolanda, you should bring the medic on your way back. Probably."

"Will do, Chief."

"Everyone ok, Alenko?"asked a concerned sounding Garrus, as much as Kaidan could tell through the increasingly disrupted comms.

"Yeah, we're OK," he replied.

Satisfied that the threat was taken care of, Liara turned back to the safe, and made short work of the lock, which was already slightly damaged, probably from the crucible blast, like most everything else in the galaxy.

"They are here Kaidan. The cybernetics are here," said Liara, hurredly continuing "Judging from Miranda's description, we have several different prototypes that will be useful to her. Certainly everything that she said she needed, if not more."

Breathing a sigh of extreme relief he nodded. He'd thank Ashley's God if he were a believer. He didn't know what they'd do if they hadn't found anything here. 

"Let's get them back to the ship then. Captain Yao, thanks for the help. We'll wait for Peterson to be patched up, then we'll take him off your hands. The Alliance will be interested in an undercover Cerberus operative. And how many more there are. Is there anything we can do for you in return?"

"Hmm...well we've got a few folks here who could also use some medical attention, more than we can give them anyway, and some folks who have all their family on Earth, and would like to go back and check on them if possible. Assuming Earth is where you're heading after?"

"Yes Captain. We'll take them home"

\----

The journey back to Earth this time was a lot shorter than the last time they had been making the trip, for which Kaidan was immensely grateful, considering that their cargo included not only potentially lifesaving prototype cybernetics for Shepard, but also several civilians in need of advanced medical care; soldiers that had crash landed and been stranded during the war and who were very short on supplies; and a Cerberus spy who was so far remaining stoically silent about his comrades. Hackett was going to love this. Well, maybe love isn't quite the right word. In the meantime, he had an appointment with Ms. Lawson.

"Is there anything you can do with these?" said Kaidan, dumping the schematics on the table that had been claimed as Miranda's makeshift workbench, followed by more carefully handing over the prototypes.

She slowly studied the diagrams for a few moments, before carefully removing the outer shell of the cybernetics, systematically laying out the components and taking everything apart piece by piece. Kaidan found it impossible to gauge her reaction, her carefully blank face was not one he'd like to face in a poker match. Everything seemed to be moving through molasses as he watched, holding his breath as she worked through a mental checklist of each cut of metal.

"Yes I think I should be able to make use of these. The parts are mostly complete, with a few tweaks I should hopefully be able to get Shepard into surgery in the next few days."

Exhaling felt strangely like a biotic discharge, all the tension flowing out from his body with those few sentences. He's almost dizzy with the relief in his bones, with blurred vision and weak legs. Not that he'd let it show, outwardly he's always the perfect soldier. He nods once in Ms. Lawson’s direction, accepting her conclusion, immensely grateful for it.

"Thank you, Miranda. As soon as you can, get him up and running. Keep me updated."

"Of course, Major."

\---

Kaidan wasn't there the first time Shepard's eyes slowly cracked open. Or the second. He would've preferred to be there of course, to hold Shepard's hand and tell him that everything was going to be OK. As it happened, what he wanted and what he got were two very different things. What he got was a handwritten note hand delivered to him during an extremely detailed progress report.

Hackett had specifically requested the Major's presence at the meeting between various ranking officers and notable members of the alien species stranded on Earth, all giving extremely lengthy project updates and situation breakdowns. It was during a presentation given by an Asari and Salarian scientist duo that the gentle knock on the door boomed loud in the otherwise quiet room, opening to reveal a nervous looking soldier holding an old fashioned envelope.

"Uh...important communication for Major Alenko," said the soldier, his eyes darting from each of the room's occupants before settling on Kaidan, handing over the letter and retreating out of the already overcrowded room, with speed that Kaidan was jealous of right now. Opening the letter, he found a handwritten note from Miranda. It read:

"Shepard out of surgery, Responded well to the implants. Has briefly regained consciousness several times, although just barely lucid. Asking for you. Stop by when you can. Miranda."

If Kaidan hadn't been required at this meeting he would've been out the door already, marching straight to Shepard's bedside. Hell, if he'd had his way he never would have left it. Instead he was stuck in a cramped room, filled with too many people, listening to a presentation that essentially was saying "no, sorry, the relays aren't fixed yet," which wasn't exactly new information.

"Everything OK Major?" asked Hackett "Can we get the briefing back on track?"

Kaidan knew he was subtly inquiring about Shepard's state of health.

"Yes, sir. Everything's fine."

Damnit, Kaidan wasn't going to be able to get out of giving his sit-rep just yet. He'd have to wait it out, which was a difficult task, when listening to the scientist come up with the longest possible way to say 'no progress'. Garrus was to his left, having already offered his insight on how best to control the population on the streets, his time as Archangel invaluable in helping prevent looting, riots and widespread panic. Now the Turian was barely paying attention, his eyes glazing over despite giving an almost perfect impression of alertness.

Kaidan's own attention began to wander. He knew Shepard was awake and requesting his presence. He also knew that the relays weren't any closer to being fixed and standing here talking about it wasn't going to get them fixed any faster. He began to fiddle with the note in his hands, folding and unfolding it, rereading it, glancing to the door, to Garrus, to the team upfront. Finally Hackett snapped.

"Oh for the love of- Major! Tell us what you have to tell us and then you and Vakarian can leave," he all but shouted.

For Kaidan's part, he quite possibly gave the briefest situation update he ever had in his life. Normally he prided himself on the details, but not today. He quickly touched on the possible network of Cerberus spies and how Jack and a team of Alliance soldiers and been recruited to handle it. He talked on the supply situation and the salvage operations being headed up by James and his crew, as well as the Alliance operations taking place on the colonies they'd explored.

"Thank you, Major. Any questions from anyone else?"

Blissful silence followed Hackett's question and Kaidan was dismissed with a more than confused Garrus keeping pace as Kaidan rounded the corner to take the shortest route to Shepard.

"So, what's the rush?" asked Garrus, not ungrateful for the rescue from the increasingly dull briefing. Without breaking stride, Kaidan unfolded the note and passed it across so Garrus could read.

"I see," said Garrus, mandibles chittering, smoothing out the now creased paper.

"She's got very neat handwriting considering," considering up until recently everything had been electronic, he meant, "but then I suppose she's always been something of a quick learner," said Garrus, refolding the note and handing it back.

'Of all the things to talk about', Kaidan thought, shooting him a somewhat impatient glare.

"Just trying to fill the silence. It's not a short walk to our destination after all", said Garrus.

"Didn't realise you were so talkative, Garrus."

"People change," he said, simply.

\---

Miranda met them at the entrance to the hospital ward, somehow having known of their imminent arrival. He was slightly unnerved that several women he knew were seemingly omnipotent, but as long as they were helping Shepard, he couldn't care less. She turned on her heel, leading them down the hall to Shepard's room, although the walls of the hospital were not unfamiliar to Kaidan, he'd been stopping by whenever he had chance after all.

"I'm glad you could excuse yourself from your meeting, Major," she said, "he really has been insistent on seeing you. He's getting more and more coherent each time he wakes, although he's never conscious for long. He's still as stubborn as ever, though. Last time he woke, I had to tell him that the Reapers had been defeated to prevent him from trying to charge out of the hospital and back into battle. He needed a mild sedative to get him to rest. Hopefully you'll have better luck than I did."

She stopped outside the door to Shepard's room, turning to face him and waiting for Kaidan to lead the way. Kaidan wasted no time before pushing through. It was the same as it always was, except for the most important thing; Shepard's head turned towards him, their eyes meeting across the room. It could have been considered a romantic cliché, if you ignored every single one of the bruises, the ever present antiseptic smell that screamed of hospital and injury, as well as the way that that one small movement seemed to take monumental effort on Shepard's part. Kaidan had never been so grateful for it all.

"Kaid...an," rasped Shepard. That was all, but it was enough to have Kaidan moving. He almost didn't register his feet taking him the three step's across the room to Shepard's bedside. He was fighting away the overjoyed expression that was threatening to take over his face. His commander was not only alive, but conscious. It was more than enough. As soon as he was within reach, Kaidan reached out and grasped Shepard's hand between his own.

"It's really good to see you awake, John. You had us worried. For a moment."

Kaidan watched as Shepard's face twisted in what Kaidan could only assume was intended as a half grin.

"Got'a keep y'on yer toes," Shepard slurred, head falling back down to the pillow with a thumpf, and Kaidan immediately reached up to help smooth it down, before resettling his hand over John's.

"Didn't know you two were so romantic," said Garrus jokingly, looking at their joined hands, simultaneously clearing his throat and making Kaidan jump. Kaidan had honestly forgotten that he and Shepard were not alone. Garrus had known about their relationship on the Normandy, and both he and Shepard were looking amused at Kaidan having being caught unaware. However, Kaidan didn't know if Shepard had told Miranda about their romantic involvement, but considering that she didn't seem surprised and had gone out of her way to keep Kaidan informed, he supposed she must have had some idea. Seriously, omnipotent women everywhere. Nevertheless, he refused to let go of Shepard's hand, no matter how much Garrus joked.

"V'k'rian, Doc tells me we kicked Reap'r ass?"

"Yes, we did. Kicked ass hard, and you couldn't have done it without me, don't forget that," the Turian quipped, nodding his head.

"They're gone, Shepard. You did it," Kaidan confirmed.

He watched as Shepard's eyes filled with sadness and tensed, bracing himself for the next thing out of Shepard's mouth.

"And...the Geth?"

Not entirely what he was expecting, but not all that surprising either.

"I’m sorry, Shepard. None of the Geth made it. Neither did EDI," said Kaidan, squeezing Shepard's hand gently between his own.

Shepard made an abortive movement at the mention of EDI, which resulted in three people rushing forward to prevent him from trying to get out of bed.

"No...EDI- no."

"I'm sorry, Shepard," said Miranda, "none of the AIs made it. It had to be done to defeat the Reapers. They knew what they signed up for in the war."

"No," said Shepard, a little more forcefully, "she...EDI had backups. She had safety measures," Shepard relaxed back onto the bed, having exhausted himself with the exertion of trying to move too fast too soon, "she had backups...."

As Shepard slowly fell back asleep, the other three occupants in the room stood frozen for a moment.

"Do you think it's possible? Bringing her back to life if she kept copies of herself?" asked Garrus, breaking the silence.

"Theoretically, it is possible," said Miranda, "although highly unlikely. Any backups linked up to electronics would have been friend along with anything else in the blast. We've only had limited success in restoring physical technology. A backup would have to be on a well-protected external storage device, and even then there's no guarantee it wouldn't be completely wiped. Or that if you could get the AI up and running, the personality might be completely different. There's no telling whether or not it would be the same EDI."

"Do you know of anyone else who has revived on AI?" Kaidan asked Miranda, "can I tell Jeff she might be OK?"

"I've not heard of it happening, although my priority has been Shepard. I assume everyone else has had other priorities too, certainly attempting to revive an AI won't be high on anyone's list at the moment."

Kaidan felt his life suddenly getting more complicated, as he moved to sit in the ageing green chair on one side of the room, with no intention to leave Shepard's side for the rest of the day.

\---

It takes time for Shepard manage more than a few minutes of consciousness at once, let alone get out of bed, and Kaidan thinks it's probably only through stubbornness and sheer force of will he manages it so quickly. He'd had plenty of visitors, including Wrex, despite the concerns of various hospital staff. Shepard's survival had been kept secret from the majority of civilians, with only select hospital staff, crewmembers and Alliance officials in the know. Ostensibly this was to aid Shepard's recovery, not that Kaidan wasn't grateful for the peace, as he had plenty on his mind.

EDI's potential backups were constantly at the forefront of everything he had to think about. He couldn't in good conscience tell Joker the news, without first gathering as much information as he could about possibly survival rates. He didn't want to get Jeff's hopes up, just to watch him have to say goodbye to her all over again. He'd asked Liara to discretely try and ascertain if anyone else had successfully revived an AI, or even a VI at this point, but most programs had been too damaged to be worth repairing, especially with the current lack of available resources. People were too busy worrying about their own survival, the salvage of AIs just wasn't a major concern for anyone right now.

Currently, Kaidan was sat in the hospital, turning everything over in his brain, whilst Shepard has his second physical therapy session this week. Miranda had assured Kaidan that although Shepard was healing remarkably well, she wouldn't let him push himself too much before he was ready. She'd worked too hard for any setbacks to happen now, but with the new prototypes almost fully integrated into his system, his body had been able to free up a lot of energy for healing.

Still, as Kaidan looked over to see Shepard getting increasingly frustrated at his left leg's lack of motion, despite the therapist's patience, Kaidan couldn't help but worry. Shepard was obviously struggling with his new leg implant. The muscle had been torn right in two, meaning they had to bind his leg together with more pieces of metal and moving parts than the rest of him.

"Hey, how about a break? No point in pushing yourself too far, John."

Shepard looked over with a determined expression and motioned for the nurse to carry on.

OK then.

Resigning himself to receiving a look that could kill a varren anytime he suggested Shepard slow down, or god forbid, stop for his own good, Kaidan sighed and settled back into the chair. He was glad to see Shepard was still his stubborn old self, despite the frustration it caused.

Before he could get lost in his own thoughts again, he heard shuffled footsteps steadily approaching, along with another pair of heavier footed- boots, maybe? He went to open the door, revealing a somewhat disgruntled Jack and a slightly worse for wear Joker.

"Alenko, didn't realise you'd be here," said Jack, immediately hefting herself up to sit cross legged at the foot of Shepard's bed.

"Nowhere else to be," he replied.

"Bullshit, Alenko. There are a million places to be since this shit went down, you're just slacking off! At least Shepard's got the 'nearly died' excuse, what's yours?" she laughed.

Shrugging his shoulders, Kaidan went to sit back down, with Joker claiming the chair in the opposite corner.

"Joker, how are you?" asked Shepard.

"Shouldn't I be asking you that, Commander?" he chuckled, "you're the one who got himself landed in hospital. Sorry it took me so long to show my face, sir. Wasn't in the best frame of mind."

"Yeah, I had to drag him out of his bunk, it wasn't a pretty sight" added Jack, unnecessarily.

Kaidan knew it was hard for Jeff. With EDI gone and Shepard once against defying the odds, it just wasn't easy for Joker to process.

"Last I heard they were keeping the fact that I'm still breathing top secret. I wasn't sure if you'd been told", replied Shepard, attempting to shrug his shoulders to the best of his ability. The physical therapist helped him climb back into bed before declaring them done for the day, and leaving Shepard to enjoy his visitor's company.

"If you asked me, making it public knowledge soon rather than later would be a good idea right now, people are starting to get antsy," said Jack, leaning forward, head resting on her fist.

Antsy was one word for it. There had been a few fights at food drop locations, with people squabbling over who’d already had their fair share, and a few colonies had picked up a nasty virus with some nasty side effects. Medical supplies had been on route, but weren't fast enough to prevent some sufferers from being inflicted with permanent damage before they got there. It was making people worried.

"Hackett has been thinking about it," Kaidan supplied, "but he won't do it until he has to."

Not with Shepard only partially healed anyway.

"Seems dumb to me. Shepard can take care of himself and some good news would help people right now," she said simply.

She wasn't wrong, but Kaidan's priority was Shepard, and he opened his mouth to protest, though Shepard beat him too it, possibly to stave off an argument between biotics in his hospital room.

"Speaking of good news, Jeff, how's things with EDI coming along?"

Son of a bitch!

Kaidan sank lower into his chair, steepling his fingers in front of his face and breathing deeply, internally berating himself for not seeing this coming. He looked over at Jack's raised eyebrows and then at Jeff's crumpled, heartbroken expression.

"Shepard...EDI didn't make it," said Jeff, quietly.

Shepard's forehead creased as his eyes swivelled round to Kaidan.

"I thought...the backups? Could you not find them? I told you about them, right? I know I was a little out of it at the beginning, but I could've sworn-"

"Backups?!" Jeff asked, in a strangled high pitched voice.

Sighing, Kaidan stood up from his chair and went to stand beside Shepard.

"Yes, you told me about them. We've been doing some digging," he said, before turning his attention to Joker, "I hadn't mentioned them yet because we're still not sure if it would actually work. I didn't want to get your hopes up if it turns out it’s not possible."

"Fucking harsh," whistled Jack, mostly to herself.

"But it might be?” asked Joker, "Possible, that is? She might be OK?"

"We just don't know. As far as we can tell, no one has even attempted to bring an AI back yet. We don't even know where they were kept, even if they survived."

"I told you where they were, when I first mentioned them, right?" interrupted Shepard, raising his eyebrows. Kaidan mirrored the look.

"No Shepard, that you didn't tell me."

Shepard frowned for a moment, which Kaidan found oddly adorable given the circumstances, before he continued.

"Edi kept her backups safe. She didn't keep them on Earth, as handy as that would have been," Shepard said with a snort, that promptly turned into a nasty cough and a few sips of water, "Edi kept them on the citadel. She kept copies all around the galaxy, but the nearest ones- is the citadel still-"

"Yeah, Shepard, it's still above Earth," Kaidan said, taking John's bandaged hand in his, "but the Crucible affected everything. Even if she did have backups, there's no guarantee that they wouldn't be in pieces now."

"Well," said Joker, desperately, "we have to try."

\---

The first thing Kaidan did was arrange to speak to Hackett about the situation. He'd spent too many hours in the Admiral's cramped office he thought, as he watched the man’s face go from serious, to surprise, to disbelief.

“Let me get this straight. Earth is in chaos. We've got gangs and looters setting up shop in some of the more unsavoury districts, complicated inter-galactic politics to deal with, not to mention the logistics of making sure everyone doesn't starve and you want us to, what? Send the Normandy out, our one shining beacon of hope, on a whim, for the possibility that there might be some discs lying around? For a synth? That's going to be a tough one to get past the books Alenko."

"I understand, sir. Millions of lives were lost, but if there's a chance we can save this one we've got to take it. She's our crew. She saved our lives so many times. It's the least we can do for her."

"If the people find out we've sent our ship, our people and our resources on this mission, there will be a riot," replied Hackett, "we can't waste time on the dead, we need all the help we can get just to keep the living living."

"Sir, right now she's in limbo. Not dead, or alive. We just don't know. You did everything you could to help Shepard. We need to do the same for her. She needs us. Just send me. Me and Joker and a small team. We'll go, we'll have a look around, see if we can find anything. Just need a ship, doesn't have to be the Normandy. Just something solid that'll get us there in one piece."

"All Alliance ships are currently working to restore the galaxy..." Hackett began, before Kaidan interrupted.

"There is a supply frigate, going nearby, the day after next. We could board as extra personnel, take a shuttle and wait to be picked up. Nobody would have to know we were going but us and the ship's Captain."

"All ships leaving Earth have full rosters, we've made sure of it. We can't afford to waste space, so they are taking important persons and citizens back to their homes and families. You want me to kick them off for a dead mech? I'd help if I could, Major, but that's just not going to happen."

Kaidan conceded that it probably wasn't the best plan.

"What about a salvage mission?" he said, "Salvaging what we can on the citadel? We can take Lieutenant Vega and his team, they can search the citadel for anything that might be beneficial to have back here on Earth."

Hackett looked thoughtful for a moment.

"Granted, Alenko. We can do something with that. Take a shuttle and salvage anything you can on the citadel. Make it a worthwhile trip, no matter what. I don't want to be wasting good resources here," said Hackett, finally agreeing to let Kaidan take a ship, "and, Major, good luck . Dismissed"

\---

"Alright guys, you know the drill. We're looking for anything salvageable, priority for medical supplies and consumables."

Vega was stood in the shuttle, taking his team through the objectives. Kaidan felt equal amounts amusement and pride at seeing the baby of the group have a command of his own. Vega deserved it though, despite everything, and Kaidan was happy for him to take the lead. He wasn't exactly here in an official capacity himself.

They'd managed to persuade Hackett to let them take the Normandy, on the grounds that she could fly with a skeleton crew and hold more cargo than a shuttle or small ship. Joker was in his usual place in the pilot seat, having refused to be left behind. Cortez was shuttling them down to the citadel, dropping Kaidan and Tali off as close to Shepard's apartment as possible, before beginning to move Vega's salvage back to the Normandy, a shuttle full at a time.

During the Alliance's first and only trip to the citadel, to look for survivors, they had managed to get the artificial gravity back up and running, but there was nothing they could do to make the environment breathable, with several sizable hull breaches and no way to contain an atmosphere. 

The Alliance had had to leave the bodies of the fallen where they were for now, there were so many of them. They would eventually all be taken back to their families, if there was any family left that wouldn't also be needing a casket, but Hackett had been right about how there was too much to do to help the living, they didn't have time to worry about helping the dead. Good thing about space, the bodies weren't really decomposing. And isn't that a morbid thought.

At least the Reapers had handily dragged the citadel to Earth's orbit. Otherwise god knows they wouldn't be going back to Asari space anytime soon, not with things the way they were.

"A backup copy was kept in Shepard's apartment and a copy in the vaults. No guarantee either is in one piece, not with all this damage," explained Kaidan, to Tali. It was easier to start at Shepard's apartment, then to navigate down to the vaults without much technology to aid them.

Shepard's apartment building wasn't exactly whole anymore. The half of the building that hadn't collapsed looked relatively stable, for something that had basically been split in two, anyway. The other half of the building just plain wasn't there, nothing of it. Most of the rubble probably floating off to the farthest corners of space by now, thanks to the lack of gravity. Or more likely into the band of debris surrounding Earth's orbit. Clean up was going to be a bitch.

"Hey guys, how's it going?" Joker's voice came through to Kaidan and Tali as they stared at the shell of a home. Tali had thankfully been able to clean up some of the static over the Normandy's frequencies, for which Kaidan was more than grateful.

"Sorry guys, I don't have any scanners working on this shuttle, we'd really appreciate as much verbal communication as possible, just so we know half the citadel hasn't collapsed on top of you," said Steve, shortly following Joker's transmission.

"We're fine Steve. We'll give you as many updates as we can. Joker can stop checking in every 5 minutes," says Tali, with a head movement that Kaidan has come to approximate as an eye roll.

"We're fine too, thanks for asking," James cuts in, "we've got some good equipment and plenty of food supplies over here. No sense in wasting it."

"Check back in thirty then," said Kaidan, cutting off any protest from Joker with "the building isn't exactly up to code, we need to concentrate Jeff. Check back in thirty."

"Fiiiine," groaned Joker, probably also rolling his eyes. Kaidan was more than tempted to join in on the eye rolling festivities with how the crew was acting.

"Good luck Alenko," said James, before cutting comms.

Tali and Kaidan turned their attention back to the apartment block in front of them. They both had fond memories of this place, it was difficult to reconcile the building as it was with the sight they had before themselves.

"I managed to patch together a basic scanner," said Tali, the first to come out of the reverie, as she played with a very scavenged looking mechanical device, "and so far I'm not getting anything telling me the building is unsafe. Well, not anymore unsafe than we can see with our eyes, anyway. We'll just have to go slowly, I guess."

"Hopefully we can find the pieces of the backups and just get out of here. The new decor isn't exactly making for a welcoming location," said Kaidan, making his way forward through the building, looking around him at all the destruction as he went. A few neon lights down on the street still flickered on and off, their light reflecting on the window shards lying at their feet, and strange shadows were cast as they moved around rough debris. Chunks of steel and concrete, mixed with the occasional missing shoe or coffee machine displaced from what used to be somebody's home.

Kaidan's footsteps slowed to a halt as they reached the corridor leading to Shepard's apartment. There was a hole in the wall and two thirds of the door had been blasted a good few feet back from the entranceway. Kaidan held his breath as he entered. Memories of his life with Shepard were strewn about in the carnage that he saw before him. Shepard had told Kaidan that Edi's backups were kept in the safe, that's all Kaidan had to do, get to the safe. Don't look at anything else, he had more important things to do than get emotional about the damage.

'It was just stuff', he told himself, 'just things. And they can be replaced. Shepard is still breathing, back on Earth. You've got a job to do Alenko. Get a grip.'

With careful footing he slowly followed Tali over to Shepard's safe.

The door had been blasted open, and the wall holding the safe had partially collapsed on top. Whether the collapse was due to the crucible or the sudden loss of pressure from the citadel atmosphere breach, Kaidan couldn't tell. Perhaps one had weakened it and the other dealt the killing blow. Either way it didn't bode well for its contents.

"Well, we're going to need to move some rubble," said Tali, kneeling down and picking up a few smaller pieces of wall and moving then to the side with her hands.

Kaidan watched for a second before the whole pile of rubble shimmered blue, as he started to biotically move the debris.

"Or we could do that...." said Tali, a hand on her hip watching the rubble float across to the other side of the room and slowly drop to the floor.

Shrugging, Kaidan moved towards the now exposed safe. The door had been blasted open but fortunately it had fallen face down, trapping the contents inside.

"Could use a hand with this though," he said, grabbing one side of the safe and rolling it backwards with Tali's help, as she pushed from the other side.

The items underneath were....not what Kaidan was expecting. There were two hard copy backups, with cracked casing and dented components. He crouched down to pick them up. Carefully, gently. Next to them, though, were photograph frames. Some weren't running, but some were still flickering on and off in their struggle to remain illuminated. Kaidan could see several personal photographs of Shepard and Kaidan together, on dates and days off, together on birthdays, and pictures of them just cuddled up on the couch. Kaidan remembered some of them being taken on Shepard’s omnitool, had flicked through them on more than one occasion, looking back on the memories together, but he hadn't known Shepard had had them framed. He hadn't known these memories were so important to Shepard that they were worthy of being kept in a safe at all. He and Shepard had never talked about things like this. They hadn't really had time, running from one mission to the next and trying to avoid the Reapers on the way there.

"That's amazing that the photos survived, Kaidan. If they did, then maybe EDI's backups can be salvageable too. Bring the photos, I can see if I can fix them for you." said Tali, kindly, and Kaidan felt one of her hands come to rest on his shoulder.

He nodded, smiling a little in her direction.

"I'd appreciation that, Tali. Thank you," he said. Clearing his throat he picked up the photos and EDI's backups. "Joker, Steve, we found copies in one of the locations but it’s a bit worse for wear so we're going to go to the vaults and check things out there, just in case. How are you getting on James?"

"Going good, Major," James's voice comes through the speakers, "We've got plenty to take back and plenty more that we won't be able to carry, another team can come up and get the rest, I'm sure as hell not eager to come back. We're going to have to start doing something about the bodies too. I know it's not exactly priority, but it feels wrong just leaving them here like this."

"I know, James. I'll talk to Hackett about it when we're back. Problem is we can't really return the dead to their families right now, not if they aren't from Earth, and as soon as we take them back to the planet, we're going to have to bury them, and their families might not appreciate them being buried on Earth."

"It just doesn't sit right, Major. Not right at all. Maybe we could build a temporary morgue for them, up here on the citadel. Or something, I don't know."

"We'll talk to Hackett back on Earth. Nothing to be done about it right now," said Kaidan, sighing, before heading back down to the remains of the street.

\---

"This is going to be fun, Kaidan!"

"Not really my idea of fun, Tali. Seems more like Shepard's thing," he mused, as they strapped themselves into various harnesses in preparation for abseiling down the side of the vault chamber. The old fashioned way.

"Well, the commander isn't here, so you'll have to live up to his name in his place. Now, last one there has to drink Vega's homemade alcoholic beverage," she shouted in a challenge, as she tipped herself over the ledge.

"Hey!" came Vega's indignant shout through the comms, "my homebrew is the best thing in production right now," he said cheekily. They could hear the simultaneous laughs and groans of Vega's squad in the background, obviously having had first-hand experience of the alcohol in question.

"That's an unfair bet, Tali," said Kaidan, as he followed her down the seemingly endless abyss, "you can’t drink the Lieutenant's beer!"

"Well now, I'm sure I can come up with something for our amino challenged friends," said Vega.

Kaidan lowered himself further, meter by meter, with Tali a good six feet lower down.

'What would be better', he mused 'death by falling or death by the brewery of Vega?'

He wished he could float biotically right now.

When they had finally lowered themselves to the correct level, Tali began work on the cracking the lock, a task infinitely harder now, even if she had managed to cobble together some helpful tech.

"Is this the one we were locked in?" he wondered out loud, as he dangled precariously, waiting for her to finish.

"I have no idea. It would explain how the discs got here though," she said as she eventually managed to get the lock to open and they pried the door open with the combined power of tech and biotics.

The backup discs are the only thing in the room. Kaidan blows on them to remove the dust, but the immediate appearance gives the impression that they are less burnt and warped than the other set. Not in perfect condition, the blast got through everything, but Miranda might be able to make something of it. Kaidan couldn't help but be a little hopeful, and also a little disappointed that they couldn't have found the backups in better condition.

"We got the second copy. Heading back up. Lieutenant, how's the salvage?" he asked.

"Good. Can get a couple more shuttle loads onto the Normandy though, and extra sets of hands are always welcome."

"We're on our way," he replied, as they began their ascent to the top, backups carefully wrapped and stored.

\---

Back on Earth, Tali and Miranda took over the AI core and turned it into a makeshift computer lab, taking turns analysing the discs and the code contained on them. Liara had managed to procure a copy of the original Cerberus specifications and Kaidan watched as the two women stared at the various screens, attempting to create a match.

"Move out the way cheerleader, let me show you how a Quarian admiral gets the job done," said Tali as Miranda became frustrated with the lack of progress on her part.

"Obviously I'm just tired because I've been trying to fix the commander! He still needs a lot of surgery, tune ups and physical therapy to come anywhere close to passing Alliance fitness tests."

"Miranda, are you ok? ", asked Garrus, immediately taking on a look of concern for the human woman, much to Tali's annoyance, "You should get some rest too you know, we'd probably all feel better if you weren't a walking zombie."

"Because you're all looking so well rested yourselves, she retorted.

Kaidan raises his eyebrows. Garrus shrugged. She had a point.

"We've got three variations to test. They may or may not work, but we've done the best we can at the moment. We've run diagnostics on the AI core, it should be capable of supporting an intelligence. We'll need to plug her into the Normandy first and then try to transfer her into a body, however the original mech isn't yet repaired. We could wait until-"

"No, get it over with," interrupted Joker, "if she’s dead, I need to know."

"These are just the first tests Jeff, it might take a while, even if it is possible. Don't get your hopes up."

He nodded, although judging from his expression, it was probably too late to tell him not to get his hopes up.

"Alright, here goes. Loading trial number one," said Tali as she booted up the core systems.

Lights flashed and electronics whirred, but, ultimately, nothing seems to happen.

"Damnit," said Joker with a sigh.

Kaidan notices Tali and Miranda glance at each other, before quickly analysing the error logs and attempting a few workarounds. Nothing.

"OK, moving onto trial number two."

This turns out to be an even bigger failure than the first, with an incompatibility resulting in a fatal error. Kaidan scrubs a hand through his hair as he watches Joker's pacing-shuffle around the core room.

"Something to work on," said Tali, attempting to be encouraging, although disappointed herself. Kaidan was rapidly losing hope.

"Resetting...and third attempt" said Miranda, "here we go...now."

Nothing.

"Damnit!"

Kaidan watched as Joker leaned heavily on the wall in the struggle to compose himself. He blinked rapidly, in an attempt to stop himself from fully breaking down. This was exactly why Kaidan had tried to keep him in the dark about the backups, until they were sure . It was heart-breaking to watch him have to deal with this again.

"We'll keep trying," promised Tali.

"These were just the initial tests anyway," said Miranda.

"Yeah there were a few more options we could try...especially if we..." said Tali, hands and fingers moving and making adjustments.

"Oh, yes, that could work...especially if we..." said Miranda, pressing buttons and moving around the room, "one more try," she said.

A computerised voice comes through the speaker. It’s not EDI, but it's something.

"--Starting boot protocols--"

"--Please input data--"

Miranda types away furiously, as everyone in the room pauses, eyes fixed on her screen.

"Hello I am E.D.I. It seems I was not properly uninstalled. Please wait whilst I run diagnostics....

"Retrieving data from memory database...

"Memory incomplete. Please wait whilst I attempt to repair..."

"Error: cannot repair. Attempting to bypass..."

Her speech was distorted and jittery, but it sounded like EDI...but Shepard's clone sounded like Shepard, it didn't mean it was him.

"Finishing boot processes...

The entire room waited for EDI with baiting breath.

"Hello Miss Lawson. Can I be of service?"

"Hello, EDI, it's good to hear from you," said Miranda.

"Edi?" asked Joker "Are you OK?"

The pilot was visibly shaking as Kaidan prayed to Ash's god for the second miracle since the crucible fired.

"Identifying: memory core damaged," came EDI's voice, "attempting to rectify."

Jeff looked heart broken and hopeful at the same time, something Kaidan was mirroring internally.

"Identifying. Moreau. Jeff ....Moreau. Jeff. Hello Jeff. Where am I?"

"You're on Earth. The Normandy is on Earth. The war is over. What is the last thing you remember?"

"I am unsure. My memory core is not functioning correctly. Time logs are missing. I am not connected to be able to verify any data"

"Excuse me EDI," says Tali as she begins to examine the readouts on screen and make adjustments to some of EDI's equipment, "Hmm...there is some damage here. As far as I can tell, new information should be stored correctly but the old information....some of it will be more badly damaged than the others. Some may be hard to recall."

"Running full diagnostics now. We can check for the lost sections to see how badly she's affected, and if there's anything further we can do," said Miranda. "Unfortunately I don't know any specific tests to diagnose memory loss in AIs on a personality level though."

Even if it was partially EDI, Kaidan supposed that might be better than nothing, although he couldn't make a guess as to whether it would make it easier or harder for Jeff.

"Hmm," said Tali as she inspects the readings coming from her scanner, "I have good news, and bad news. The code in places is wiped, there's no way to fix that. The connections in the memory core are damaged, with no way for us to access the information currently."

"Is that the good news?" asked Joker, exasperated.

"Well, it's possible with time that EDI might be able to reroute her own pathways and gain access to some of the data, but there's no telling how much she'll be able to remember, if anything. We can tell her what happened and she can store the data correctly, but it won't be the same as truly remembering the event. For example, EDI, do you remember the party we all went to at Shepard's apartment?"

"I have no recollection of this event. Searching memory fragments. It is difficult to gain access to the data. It may take some time."

"Anything you can do would be helpful, EDI."

"Jeff, did you and I engage in a romantic relationship ? It seems I would risk non-functionality for you, but I do not remember deciding to do so. I feel the only logical conclusion would be romantic entanglement of some kind, which seems a strange decision without all the information."

"Would telling you about past events be helpful?” asked Jeff, choking at the mention of their past relationship.

"It might help me to efficiently reorder information that I find, if it is correct that I can reroute information connections."

"Alright then," said Joker, "I'll get started."

And he told her everything he could.

\---

Kaidan excused himself from the tense AI core, with the reasoning that he wasn't there for EDI's early days on the Normandy and so wasn't much help, but that he was needed elsewhere. He wasn't quite sure how Shepard managed to do everything for everyone, he felt as if he was nearly vibrating to pieces, he hadn't stopped since he landed pack on Earth. The tense ride on the Normandy after their crash landing seemed like a peaceful tropical escape in comparison.

He had several more meetings with Hackett, informing him on the updated EDI situation, and in turn hearing the news that they had received a communication from the Salarian home world. It was several weeks old, but it contained useful information and was a promising sign that things were slowly improving over there, as well as here on Earth.

Today though, Kaidan had only one place to be. Shepard had finally been deemed fit enough to leave the hospital. He still wasn't at his best, but the need for round the clock care had diminished, and Miranda felt comfortable in letting Shepard move into the apartment that the Alliance had provided for Shepard's use. Of course, Shepard had been ordered to check in frequently, and Kaidan had no doubt that Miranda would be keeping a close eye on him. Kaidan himself had received a threat of bodily harm if he failed to report any changes in Shepard's wellbeing, or if he didn't ensure John kept up with his physical therapy in between appointments.

Kaidan had procured a private vehicle to pick Shepard up and take them both the thirty minute journey between the hospital and the apartment. Shepard's survival still wasn't public knowledge, although Kaidan wasn't sure how much longer Hackett could keep it secret, now that Shepard was going to be up and about. They spent the journey in comfortable silence, Shepard having been worn out by a particularly gruelling physical therapy session a few hours before Kaidan picked him up, and Kaidan trying to keep quiet about the surprise he'd organised for Shepard's homecoming...

Shepard had been given two crutches that he had been ordered to use, an arsenal of various painkillers and anti-inflammatory medications as well as strict instructions to 'take it easy, do you hear me Alenko?'. Still, that didn't stop Shepard from attempting to walk up the three flights of stairs to his new apartment by himself, before Kaidan intervened. Kaidan immediately rectified the situation and wrapped his arm under Shepard's and around his shoulders, pulling the other man in close and supporting most of his weight.

"I can do this myself, Kaidan," Shepard all but growled.

Kaidan smiled, pressing a kiss into Shepard's temple, likening it to the soothing of the savage beast.

"Of course you can, I don't doubt that, you stubborn jackass," he said, “but Miranda would gut me alive if you tried."

That got an amused chuckle out of Shepard, and he agreed to accept Kaidan's help without too much more grumbling. As they climbed the stairs, painfully slowly but no quicker than Shepard could manage, Kaidan became more and more nervous about the housewarming gift that he had arranged for John. He sincerely hoped John would like it, as he brought Shepard to a stop outside a simple looking red door.

"Is this it?" asked Shepard, his words coming slowly, as he started leaning more heavily into Kaidan's grip, letting Kaidan know that the climb had worn Shepard out more than he would've liked.

"Yeah, this is home, John," he replied.

"Cheesy, Alenko. Really cheesy" said Shepard, as Kaidan fitted the key into the lock and pushed open the door.

Carefully manoeuvring Shepard inside, he watched as John saw his new apartment for the first time. It was by no means as large as Shepard's previous apartment, nor as grand, but it had a comfortable looking sofa and an open plan kitchen with an adjoining breakfast bar, just the way Shepard liked, and it suited them both fine. Kaidan had no misconceptions that he would be spending a large amount of time here until Shepard was fully healed, at least.

He felt Shepard inhale sharply against his side and he knew Shepard had spotted them. Kaidan had had several of the photos from Shepard's safe repaired, with Tali's help, and had placed them all around the new apartment. It had meant a lot to him that Shepard had felt the photos were important enough to keep in the safe, and he'd wanted to make sure Shepard knew that, but they weren't exactly on public display before and Kaidan tensed, unsure if he'd done the right thing.

"From what you told me, I didn't think that any of these survived," said Shepard, looking at each photo and smiling, "I'm glad they did."

"I'm glad they did too," said Kaidan, feeling his muscles relax minutely, "it's sheer dumb luck that they did, and that they were able to be repaired. They probably wouldn't have survived if you hadn't put them in the safe though. I hope it’s okay that I put them up, if you had them in the safe to keep them private, I can take them down-"

"Kaidan," John interrupted, "I had them in the safe because I wasn't sure if you'd be comfortable if I put them on display."

Kaidan looked up, jaw slack with shock, before he composed himself and reached up to pull Shepard in for a kiss, a proper one, finally. He'd been aching to do so since he first saw John still breathing, looking small and alone in a hospital bed, unconscious. Hopefully, it would be the first kiss of many more to come in this new apartment.

"I guess that means you're comfortable, then," said John, slightly breathless but blushing faintly underneath the bruises.

"Damn right I am," growled Kaidan with conviction, secretly pleased that he could get the famous Commander John Shepard to blush with just a kiss. It was adorable, not that he'd ever tell Shepard that. 

"Good. Now," began Shepard with a grin, "how about some food? Climbing three flights of stairs works up an appetite for the injured, and hospital meals didn't exactly live up to Canadian standards."

Kaidan laughed, for the first time in a long time, he truly laughed, before depositing Shepard on the couch and getting straight to work.

**Author's Note:**

> Well, there you go folks. Thank you a very much to anyone who read this until the end. 
> 
> As I said, I'm just beginning to start writing, so any tips and feedback are much appreciated, either here or on my [ tumblr](http://bioticfox.tumblr.com/).
> 
> Fun fact: I originally had a different scene in mind for the ending, which had inspired the fic's title, where EDI and Shepard come talk about the whole coming back to life thing, and what it might mean for both a human and an AI. However, I felt that ended the fic on a slightly open ending and probably wasn't what people wanted, so I wrote a bit of fluff instead. I might end up adding the Shepard + EDI scene as a series time stamp later on, but we'll see :)


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